my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
