i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
