hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
