i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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