Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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