is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Pooping to opera.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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