Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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