She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
