did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
and you fell through a lawn chair
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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