What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
