I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Someone shattered a urinal.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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