Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
