Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize