I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
