Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
