PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
