WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
