people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize