do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
