Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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