Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
