The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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