I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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