He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize