I forgot how hot balto sounded
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
