dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
