he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
