Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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