good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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