i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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