then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
