the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
