My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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