We got so high we made milksteak
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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