Your mouth is God's brothel.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
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his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
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Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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