I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
so much tequila, so little girl.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
