Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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