I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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