i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize