You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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