I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
bring money and cleavage
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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