I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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