I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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