Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
