She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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