This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
