did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
either way he was missing a nipple.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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