just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
