When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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