Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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