Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
