he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
