Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
