i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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