after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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