Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
